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23andMe Poem: Enough to make you spit?

A reader (beerbelliesuk) just left a comment on one of my posts. It’s a poem about 23andMe, the Google-sponsored genetic company. I have no idea who wrote it but is quite ironic.

Update: The poem belongs to Helen Wallace who wrote it while she was stuck on a train a few weeks ago.

23andme2.jpg

Psst, you want eternal life?
On Sale Now: from Sergey and his wife.
All you need to do is pay
For them to own your DNA.

In return they’ll give you back
Information that you lack
Genetic risk for this and that:
You won’t know what you’re looking at.

Some of it will be plain wrong
Or else you knew it all along:
But you can bet they’ll make it pay
Now they have your DNA.

If you’re at risk of getting fat
You’ll soon be clicking on an ad:
There’s always something you can buy
To treat you so you will not die.

It’s personalised marketing:
The latest trend, the hottest thing.
If what they tell you isn’t true
Read the disclaimer: more fool you.

Then, when you spend your precious time
Searching journals, all online
The more you look, the more you’ll learn
How long you live depends on what you earn.

Suddenly you’ll understand
The science behind the business plan,
The secret of a longer life:
Oh yes, they have it, Sergey and his wife.

Remind me now, why did you pay
For them to own your DNA?
When you start to think it through,
Shouldn’t they be paying you?

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10 Comments Post a comment
  1. I cannot stop laughing.
    THANK YOU

    November 18, 2008
  2. To whoever wrote this poem:

    You are a genius! Thank you for writing it and thank you for sharing it. Your poem not only is brilliantly humorous but deeply insightful.

    Now the question is: who’s next?

    Cheers

    November 18, 2008
  3. This is great! Hit the nail on the head!

    November 18, 2008
  4. Brilliant .. absolutely brilliant .. kudos to whoever wrote this ..

    November 19, 2008
  5. Brilliant!!!!

    I await the poem on DeCode

    -Steve
    http://www.thegenesherpa.blogspot.com

    November 19, 2008
  6. biobud #

    How about a Knome poem? More things rhyme with Knome than DeCode.

    November 19, 2008
  7. Brilliant and funny – just as life should be. Sometimes it is less so. Same Sergey Brin was found by 23andMe to harbor an LRRK2 single-point mutation, elevating his risk of Parkinson’s. Sergey is already on record of having donated at least $2M to Michael J. Fox’ Parkinson Foundation. Since Genomics became Informatics, an other top expert in IT, Andy Grove (with Parkinson’s) supported Parkinson’s research by $66M. Watch a Google Tech Talk on the subject. And yes, we are heading towards a “Genome Driven Economy”. Pellionisz_at_junkdna.com

    November 19, 2008
  8. The link in the text does not seem to work – click on my name

    November 19, 2008
  9. Can the author do a whole series?! I’d love to see ones on stem cell research, PHRs, Health 2.0, etc.

    Awesome!!!!

    November 20, 2008
  10. To whoever wrote this poem:

    You are a genius! Thank you for writing it and thank you for sharing it. Your poem not only is brilliantly humorous but deeply insightful.

    Now the question is: who’s next?

    Cheers

    July 19, 2011

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